I /was/ going to do an April Fools post here; in lieu of my normal
list, I'd put up a troll-post. I'd select some of the worst video
games ever written, claim I've played them, and hype them to the
stars. Games like "Alone in the Dark Illumination" or "Postal III" or
"Diablo Immortals". Except, the Internet being what it is, I'm sure
that there are fans of all those games, and thus the joke wouldn't hit
the way it should have. Of course I loved "Rambo: The Video Game",
people would say. "It was great". They wouldn't see the troll, they'd
just see somebody agreeing with their egriously awful taste. And then
I'd have to explain that, no, I didn't actually like those games. How
could I? They were terrible...

So no April Fools here. Just my usual blather. Speaking of which...
let's get to it.

Zip-zippity-zoom!
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* Detroit: Become Human
* Half-Life: Alyx
* Aviators
* Eurotruck Simulator 2
* Horizon: Zero Dawn

Drone-drone-drone-drone-drone-drone
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* Detroit: Become Human
I don't know why I play these games.

Games developed by Quantic Dreams, I mean. I have, over the years,
managed to acquire all of them, and I've not enjoyed the gameplay in
/any/ of them. I absolutely know what to expect from them too:
terrible quick-time focused gameplay, an unimaginative setting that
lacks cohesive realism, uninteresting characters, terrible dialogue
and visuals that - for their time - were impressive but haven't aged
very well.

"Detroit: Become Human" is, perhaps, the least awful of the series, if
only because the storyline doesn't veer into absolute bat-shit madness
as the narrative progresses. If anything, it's storyline is trite and
cliche, lacking originality or surprise in all its twists and turns.
But that's not surprising; David Cage - the game's director and
resident auteur - has all the subtly of a brick through the window.
But at least the story makes sense, even if it isn't particularly
novel or well told.

As for the gameplay, well, if you've ever played any of Quantic Dreams
games you know exactly what to expect: tiny, well detailed levels with
a handful of interactive objects that you manipulate through
quick-time button prompts. Why washing dishes is made more exciting by
repeatedly slamming the S key rather than just a single tap of a
generic use button, I can't imagine, but that's just how it goes in
Quantic Dream-land. At least the button prompts are much less
time-limited, and better suited to mouse/keyboard; it doesn't make for
more /interesting/ gameplay, but at least it's less /aggravating/. The
other defining feature of their games is the branching storyline, but
this is much more limited in "Detroit" than their previous games. I
tried to play as an android bound by his programming (no dreams of
humanity for me!) but the game wouldn't allow it.

And the visuals? Well, they're fine. I'm sure that when the game
initially released back in 2018 they were something of a wonder, but
time and technology have quickly caught up and now the special effects
are looking a bit dated. Were there more to the game this deficiency
might be overlooked, but with so little else to the game, "Detroit's"
aging tech stands out all the more.

The end result is a game I just don't - and it seems I fundamentally
cannot - enjoy. It's Uwe Boll filmmaking coupled with the worst
aspects of modern video gaming (minus the micro-transactions. I'll
give credit to Quantum Dreams for that much at least; none of that
nonsense in this game). It's not fun. It's not interesting. It's a
chore to play and every day its visuals become more dated. I don't
know why I buy the games. I don't know why I play them. I sure as hell
have no idea how the developer stays in business.

* Half-Life: Alyx
Some might be surprised to find me playing this game, what with my
general disdain for VR. Or rather, it's not so much that I dislike VR
as I think it is over-hyped and under-delivers; it's a gimmick that
doesn't live up to its potential yet, and is overpriced to boot. But
if I'm playing "Half-Life: Alyx", a VR-only game, does that mean I've
changed my mind, that I've gone and invested in a VR headset of my
own?

Of course not. But that wouldn't stop me from playing another
Half-Life game. Thanks to a third-party mod, "Alyx" is now fully
playable without needing a VR headset.
https://www.moddb.com/mods/half-life-alyx-novr

Although perhaps 'fully playable' is a bit optimistic. Technically,
yes, you can get through the game, beginning to end with this mod. But
the experience is /very/ rough, and if you manage it without using
NoClip (conveniently already mapped to the V key by the developers,
thus showcasing even they were aware of the necessity) then you're a
better person than I, Gunga Din.

Movement is surprisingly tough in this game; for some reason, even the
smallest obstacles - a wire on the ground, the kerb between street and
sidewalk - can prevent easy progress. The protagonist does have the
ability to jump, but each hop is extremely low. Leaping across gaps -
which was sometimes required to progress - was all but impossible.
More than anything, this spoiled the overall experience. And don't
even get me started on how much more difficult this made the combat!

But even had the movement been as smooth and carefree as in the best
FPS, still "Alyx" would have been a sub-par experience to its VR
counterpart, just because the game felt so much less visceral. Many of
the objects in the game - which in VR you can pick up and use - have
been rendered 'flat' and non-interactive. Functionally, modded "NoVR
Alyx" is not any worse than most modern FPS games, but you lose /a
lot/ of verisimilitude playing the game without the VR headsets and
controllers.

Still, I'm not really faulting either the core game nor the mod; I
purposely chose to ignore the original's strengths by playing it this
way, after all, and if the experience isn't as great that is on me and
not the developers. In fact, I think that the modders got the game to
work at all without VR is already something of a miracle. But playing
it the way I did offers a much poorer experience.

Still, I'm glad I did. Even in its pitiful, weakened form, it's easy
to see Valve's dedication to fidelity in its game-worlds. There's a
lot of fun stuff to see in do in "Alyx" (even if it is grim and
dystopian), the action is intense, and the story is generally
well-paced and exciting. It's definitely a game worth experiencing.

But probably not using the no-VR mod, unless that's absolutely your
only alternative. If you can get access to a VR headset (convince your
friend to buy one and use theirs ;-), do that. Otherwise, just watch a
no-commentary play-through on YouTube. It's worth it just to get to
the ending. The NoVR mod is only interesting for how it overcame the
VR requirement.

* Aviators
I acquired "Aviators" because it was free. I played it because the
topic - refugee Polish airmen who fought for the Allies during World
War II - looked somewhat interesting. But despite everything, it's not
a game I can recommend.

Then again, it may not be fair to judge "Aviators" as a game. It's
intended more, I think, as a way to highlight the actions of Polish
airmen than to create software entertainment intended to compete with
modern games. And it's not completely without merits. If you've ever
wanted to get up and close with a British Halifax bomber, this game
may be as close as you'll get. The first part of the game has you
scrambling in and around a beautifully modeled version of the plane,
flipping switches and getting it ready to fly. You can practically
smell the AVgas and sweat-stained leather seats. It almost makes me
yearn to play it in VR.

Unfortunately, too much of the software is wrapped up in rather
amateur 'game' sections; an extremely simplistic (and forgiving)
adventure section at the start, an incredibly boring gunner section in
the middle, and a tedious and limited stealth section in the third
(and fortunately final) act. These sections are extremely linear, and
every action you need to take is telegraphed to you. There is
absolutely no challenge and no fun to be had 'playing' these sections.

Worse, the historical presentation is extremely simplistic, lacking
any real detail, history or depth to what these Polish aviators really
experienced. I got more of a sense of history playing "Call of Duty"
games.

Its unfortunate the developers felt obligated to 'gamify' this
program. Had they simply made the whole thing a 3D-rendered museum,
where players could explore the planes and locations at their own pace
- and in a way that could present the user with a more thorough
overview of the Polish airmen's deeds and travails - the whole
experience would probably have been a lot more convincing and
thoughtful. Arguably, this program was designed for children, thus
excusing its shallowness. Still, given its violence, subject matter,
and pathetic gameplay, I don't think it's something kids would
actually enjoy.

On the plus side, the game is extremely short. You can probably finish
the whole thing in less than an hour.

I really had high hopes for "Aviators". The subject matter deserves to
be covered, and some of the production values in the game are quite
impressive. But the overall experience was sub-par and far less
informative than it could have been. Those airmen deserve better.

* Eurotruck Simulator 2
It wasn't my intent to play "Eurotruck Simulator 2" again this month.
Then again, it never is. ETS2 is just the lowest-common-denominator
game in my collection; my 'go-to' title that I play whenever I can't
be bothered to play anything else. But even taking that into
consideration, neither was it my intent to play the game so much that
I'd have to include it in my monthly round-up. Had I only played one
or two sessions, I could easily have left it off this list. But my
recent hardware follies - my primary PC went belly-up for over a week
- meant I was forced to rely on an older computer as my daily driver.
And the only game that happened to be installed on that PC was
"Eurotruck Simulator 2". What was a hapless gamer to do?

Still, the circumstances resulted in some interesting gameplay. I've
been playing ETS2 for years upon years now, always using the same
save-game to track my progress. But /that/ save-game was locked on the
broken PC, so - playing on the back-up PC - I was forced to start the
game anew. It was an interesting experience. In my older save, my
virtual trucking business - with dozens of locations and hundreds of
employees - made money hand-over-fist. Cash was never a problem. If I
wanted a new truck, I'd buy one. If I pranged the old truck, the cost
of repairing it - even were it totaled - was a rounding error on the
bottom line. And traffic tickets? I didn't even notice them, they were
so miniscule.

But as a newly-created, up-and-coming truck driver, I no longer had
this safety net. Every dollar counted. That $500 speeding ticket not
only delayed a much needed upgrade, but - depending on my finances -
could potentially push my virtual trucking company into the red. It
actually became important to deliver the cargo on-time (and intact!)
if I wanted to get paid. I started paying attention to the price of
petrol again. No longer counted amongst the ultra-rich, I was one of
the Little People and had to start following the rules again.

It didn't last, of course. The game's economy is extremely generous,
and just a few virtual weeks into the game, I'd already hired two
employees who were bringing me €20K EU per week. It wasn't quite the
immunity-from-consequence I was used to, but it was enough of a buffer
that I dared drive ever-so-slightly above the speed limit. Still, most
of the good habits I'd been forced to re-learn stuck with me. I barely
ever run over SUVs anymore.

* Horizon: Zero Dawn
"Horizon: Zero Dawn" is everything I expect from a triple-A published
game. Which is to say, it's a run-of-the-mill experience, lacking
novelty or excitement, but with all the polish you'd expect from
having a fifty-million dollar budget.

It's an okay game; don't mistake me. Triple-A published games almost
always are. It's mechanically sound, and its game-loop is, overall,
fun. It's entertaining enough to keep me playing it until the end. But
it lacks distinctiveness. It's a melange of elements from "Tomb
Raider" and "Assassins Creed" and "Far Cry", mixed together without
adding anything new. The only marginally notable feature is the game's
green-apocalypse setting, and even that isn't original, having been
done to death in books, movies, and even other video games. It lacks
spark, creativity. It's pablum: filling, but not tasty.

None of its mechanics are particularly satisfying. The combat is
merely okay. Heavily reliant on ranged attacks, it feels very messy
when the monsters inevitably rush up right into your face. The camera
is workable but everything feels a bit too close. The stealth feels
half-baked. The platforming lacks style. The characters are all
forgettable, the cinematics unexciting, the story trite and
predictable. None of it is terrible, but nothing stands out either.
There's no sense of adventure or being part of an experience. It feels
safe, humdrum. You know exactly what sort of game this will be five
minutes in, and it neither exceeds nor disappoints in that expectation
throughout its forty-hour length.

I wasn't unhappy playing "Horizon: Zero Dawn". It kept me playing for
hours-long sessions, exploring its overly-large open-world,
discovering all the various doodads and artifacts that typically are
scattered in its numerous nooks and crannies. I killed innumerable
monsters and liberated many bandit camps. I bought weapons, harvested
resources, and upgraded everything to its maximum potential. I climbed
towers and unlocked maps. I maxed out my stats. I ran up to all the
NPCs with a glowing green exclamation mark hanging over the heads and
helped them out with all their many errands. I even solved the mystery
hanging over the main quest. I didn't lack for things to do, and none
of my many hours spent in the game felt completely wasted. But neither
did I feel any real excitement. Everything felt very mechanical, very
paint-by-numbers. The end result might have been a pretty picture, but
it was a picture I'd seen dozens of times before.

Which is to say, exactly the sort of experience I expect from a modern
triple-A studio production.

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So that's my month. What about you? How did you spend your time?
Simply put:

What Have You Been Playing... IN MARCH 2024?